HW 17 comments on Aja's outline

I know you didn't have much time to work on your outline in class so I cannot really judge this outline as seriously as I normally would. So far I think your only legitimate argument is #2, because "is taking away the personal aspect of everyday life"(arg #1) and "oblivious to whats going on around us"(arg #3) are really the same. Try to make your arguments more specific so that the reader will better understand what he/she is reading about in your paper. Also, try not to start off your thesis with the word "Having." It is not proper English but I'm sure you already caught that by now. Remember that your thesis is the most important part of your paper, like Andy said in class today, "crappy thesis, crappy paper." Good luck, can't wait to read it.