HW # 58 Parenting 102

Part 3: Interviews

From what I've heard about my brother's early childhood, I think my parents and Marguerite had similar parenting styles. My brother, who is 6 1/2 years older than I am, was pretty hyperactive. When he was little his teacher said that the classroom could barely contain him. He was always ready to race to the playground. The head of his school wanted to put him on a drug to calm him down. My parents wouldn't allow it. They didn't yell at him. Instead they helped him develop his two big talents, sports and art. They put him in a basketball program at Basketball City when he was only 3 or 4 years old. My mother took him to an art program at the Brooklyn Museum starting at age 3.
I bet Marguerite would've done the same thing. She said that being a parent means making sacrifices like taking the time to figure out what kids need and then finding a way to give them the right experiences. By focusing my brother on what he wanted to do, my parents say he learned how to control his body and not be so wild. He also developed skills really early so that he was able to get a lot of confidence and get better and better at doing the things he loved to do. I think Mr.Marks would do something similar with his son. He said he would develop his interests. I think this means that instead of giving him too much discipline, he will try to get his son to follow his own interests which means learning how to discipline yourself to get better at whatever it is you like doing.

Part 4: Insights on Parenting

When it comes to my own experience about how my parents raised me when I was little. I only remember the end of this little story I am about to tell. First of all, I went to preschool when I was 4 months old. My mom had worked for a French organization when my brother was born that let her have a whole year of maternity leave. By the time I was born she worked for Public Radio which only gave 3 months of maternity leave. When I was about a year old, the head of the preschool told my parents that I should have my hearing tested. It turned out that I was severely deaf in both ears. I had to wait until I was 4 1/2 years old to have an operation that my parents were told would have a 50% chance of restoring my hearing. I learned to lip read, but I didn't speak well because I couldn't hear the sounds that 2 year olds need to hear to learn how to speak. The operation was successful but I had to have 3 years of speech therapy. I took a test for kindergarden, and my parents were told that I had some mental retardation. My mother told me that she did not get upset. She just told the New York City Department of Education that she did not believe it. It turned out that after a thousand meetings and more testing I was allowed to go to a regular public school at the right grade level. I just had to have a lot of speech therapy. At the same time my parents helped me develop the interests I had which were roller blading, soccer, baseball, basketball, and art.

If I were to ever have children, based on how my parents coped with my problems at an early age, I will know how to teach them how to overcome their misfortunes. The primary rule that I have learned from my parents' experience with me is to discover a child's interests, then develop those interests until they become talents that he/she can use for the rest of his/her life. Fortunately, I had interests that my parents helped me develop that allowed me to become a more well-rounded individual. When I was going through speech therapy at a very young age, my speech sounded "different" and I was mocked for my lack of proper enunciation. At that same time my parents took me and my brother to Basketball City on weekends where I learned to play with the help of the likes of Teresa Wetherspoon and Stephon Marbury. I used the skills I learned at Basketball City in my gym class where I could dominate my mean classmates in games like "horse", "Utah", and even full court "5 on 5." This is how I learned the word "confidence," which is something that cannot be taught but can only be built up. I thank my parents and brother for that.

HW # 57 Parenting 101

I have not given much thought to how kids should be parented. In fact, I don’t think I have given any thought to this. Is parented a word? Off the top of my head I think having a sense of humor is a great thing. Little kids are funny. You have to enjoy them as a parent. Otherwise, what is the point? If you have a strange kid, it can be a challenge I guess. Our next door neighbors have three kids. They are half-Chinese. One of them is unusual. He is terrified of my dad, who likes all kids. This kid is afraid of dark skin. His parents are embarrassed about it. He also memorized all the subway train lines and what stops they make when he was about three. He would tell on other kids in his preschool. He had not one friend there. His mother told my mother that she has no idea where he came from. I have no idea about what I would do with a kid like that.


The best part about how my parents raised me was to let me try to keep up with my brother who is six years older. I was allowed to get roller blades and go ice skating before I was three. We would go to Battery City Park and go really fast on roller blades and up and over all the marble steps and benches. There was a great playground there with trampolines. There was also the best ice cream shop. I always had mango-lemon sorbet. Those were the days. I don’t think I was that much trouble. If I wasn’t racing around, I was passed out in my stroller. Maybe the key to great parenting is to exhaust kids. You have to let them get all their energy out.


First I will write abut the Doctor Ferber article. I should first say that my mother hated the whole idea of Ferberization, which was very popular apparently when I was a baby. My mother said that she would let y brother and me cry for approximately half a second before she would come pick us up in our crib. Now, back to our neighbors. Two years ago in the summer their 3rd child seemed to be constantly shrieking night after night. One night three of the neighbors called the police. When the police arrived, about ten of them, our neighbor Vivien (the baby’s mom) said, “We are just trying to Ferberize her.” The weird thing is these neighbors have a powerful spotlight on their garden all night long because they say this child is so afraid of the dark. It seems like such a waste of electricity and it’s annoying for the neighbors (us). I wonder if Doctor Ferber has a plan for this type of problem.

I like the article about the backfiring of giving little kids choices. It's funny because it all seems true. Little kids say what they really think and they learn how to drive their parents crazy and have a little control at a very early age. And when you think about it what's wrong with that? When you're little you are always being told what to do and especially what not to do. It's a good thing to try to get your way from time to time. Otherwise you would be a complete wimp. The good thing about this mother is that she wrote a funny article about her kids. You just have to enjoy them. I think that's the trick.

HW # 56 Interviews & Survey Question

Assignments # 1 / # 2 - The following questions were answered by Maria C.(family friend), Reed M.(brother), and Linda M.(mom)

Approximately how many hours of physical exercise do you have in a week?
M: 7 hours
R: 38 hours
L: 10 hours

Approximately how many hours do you spend in sedentary recreation (TV watching, playing video games, non-academic on computer time) in a week?
M: 17 hours
R: 20 hours
L: 17 hours

Approximately how many servings of fresh fruit do you have in a week. How many servings of salad (including vegetables).
M: 14 servings - fruit 6 servings – salad / vegetables
R: 21 servings - fruit 14 servings – salad / vegetables
L: 20 servings - fruit 14 servings – salad / vegetables

Approximately how many sodas or fruit juice with added sugar do you have in a week?
M: 7 servings
R: 2 servings
L: 0 servings

Approximately how many servings of junk food (potato chips, candy, Mcdonald’s anything) do you have in a week?
M: 1 serving
R: 1 serving
L: 3 servings

Assignment # 3

I happened to interview three people who all felt that they could eat better than they do despite the fact that they probably are much healthier eaters than most people. Two out of three of the people I interviewed felt that they do not get nearly enough exercise. (My brother, the third person gets enough exercise for four people and a cheetah.) These three people all live in a part of Brooklyn where there are lots of stores that sell fresh fruits and vegetables and green markets. Also, there are clean playgrounds and a park, and the neighborhood is safe. It is a lot easier to eat well and get exercise in certain parts of this city as opposed to others.

Assignment # 4

Are there relationships you have with people on a daily or almost daily - people
who work in stores or restaurants or who play music in the subways - that are important to you?

HW # 55

Part 1
Independent research question:

How do the qualities of poor neighborhoods contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic?

Part 2

Julie's question
Why do we as people feel the need to be accepted by others? Why cant people just accept others for who they really are?

These are great questions, but I feel they need to be given a little more focus. Is this really a question about humans' need for conformity? Is it also about a need to belong and a fear about not belonging? I'm not sure this is helpful. It's really late.

Aja's question
"What Distinguishes Friends From Family (And Vice Versa)At what point does a Friend become family? What is that tipping point?

This is an interesting question. I immediately thought about that saying, You can choose your friends but not your family. I think you are talking about adoption of a friend who can then be treated like family and not just as a friend. Are you talking about the friend becoming a member of the immediate family? Wouldn't he/she have to move in?

Part 3

Whelan, Ellen-Marie. Confronting America's Childhood Obesity Epidemic. 10 May 2010. Center for American Progress. 12 May 2010. www.americanprogress.org/issues/2010/05/childhood-obesity-epidemic. htm

Clark, Muriel S. City Can Fix Rising Childhood Obesity Rates in Poor Neighborhoods, Report Says. 23 March 2010. DNAinfo. 12 May 2010.http://dnainfo.com/20100323/manhattan/city-can-fix-rising-childhood-obesity

Weiting, J. Michael. Cause and Effect in Childhood Obesity: Solutions for a National Epicemic. Oct. 2008. JAOA. 12 May 2010. www.joao.org/cgi/content/ful/108/10/545

Ambindar, Marc. Beating Obesity. May 2010. The Atlantic. 12 May 2010. http://www.the atlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/04/beating-obesity

HW # 54

Extroverted (E) 55.88% Introverted (I) 44.12%Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%Thinking (T) 56.76% Feeling (F) 43.24%Judging (J) 55.88% Perceiving (P) 44.12%Your type is: ESTJ
Accuracy:

ESTJ - "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 8.7% of total population

ESTJ
organized, group oriented, focused, conventional, leader, emotionally stable, anal, attention seeking, planner, realistic, fearless, responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident, thinks rules and regulations are important, follows the rules, clean, outgoing, social, content, does not like being alone, normal, regular, does not like weird or strange people / things - intolerant of differences, strict, disciplined, aggressive, assertive, content, happy, proper, formal, strict with self, meticulous, strong sense of purpose
*the descriptions listed here are made up of personality items. people who scored high on this type scored higher on the above items compared to the average. (more info)back to personality types

favored careers:
executive, ceo, supervisor, business consultant, manager, strategist, financial planner, business person, office manager, public relations manager, international business specialist, business analyst, management consultant, operations manager, loan officer, lawyer, marketing, sports management, government employee, investment banker

disfavored careers:
poet, artist, songwriter, musician, novelist, art therapist, theatre teacher, art curator, film editor, video game designer, photo journalist, travel writer, actor, record store owner, camera operator, art historian, music teacher

Having taken this test twice with just minor changes in acouple of questions I was told I was a completely different person. For example, by changing the "I am weird" question -- and some other question (I've forgotten what it is now) I was told that I was very religious and a poet. My feeling about this kind of test is that it really is pretty inacurate unless you are the type of person who can answer all the questions without even having to think about them. The answer is attached to the specific boxes so if you could have gone either way on a few questions and you take the recommended professions seriously you could end up in serious trouble. So as far as using this test to think about your relationships with people, I wouldn't take it very seriously. Appreciating differences and maximizing compatibility go together anyway. With friends we aren't all completely the same or different, at least usually.

HW # 53 Survey Analysis

Part 1 - I did complete the survey



Part 2 - This survey was easy to take due to anonymity. To quote Sandy, " I normally wouldn't feel comfortable answering (certain questions) if the survey was not anonymous." The way I approached the questions in this survey was by acting on impulse and not overly thinking about them. I believe that in some cases, and maybe even in many cases, the more time you give people to think about a question the more likely their answer will fall farther from the truth. A question like "Your parents/guardians know who you really are" made me stop in my tracks for a moment. Then I felt kind of boring because my parents know what I'm doing and where I am 24/7 (school, dance, soccer, at home). I sadly do not have an avatar who could be unknown to my family. The commonalities of the questions that gave me the most to think about were the ones about self--What do I want out of life and how do people see me?

Part 3 - I think it is interesting that quite a lot of people don't do any work around the house whatsoever. Maybe we should get community service hours for helping out at home. It is interesting that quite a lot of us say that we're tired of the people at school. Who do we mean: the teachers or the students? I think we mean the other students. It's interesting that so many people say that they have definite plans for the future. Maybe they think the question meant the near-term future.

Part 4 - It is interesting that our group has a higher drinking percentage than the professional YRBSS survey (36% compared to 26%). Our group has a similar eating disoder percentage compared to the YRBSS group(17.6% vs. 15.8%). Among sexually active students only 45% of our group used condoms compared to 61.5% in the YRBSS group. That's a little worrying. The questions would really need to have been more similar to make a comparison between the two surveys have a lot of meaning.

HW # 52 - Initial Theories of Human Relationships

Our whole life long we are moving in and out of relationships. The good ones last, and it’s important that they do. They are a way of keeping the past a part of your life so that you aren’t just stuck in the present. Good memories are better if you have people to share them with. And it’s good to have someone to share the not so good ones with too.

Relationships start early. Unless we are really unlucky we are all born into families. Before we know it we are in school, especially preschool forming relationships with a teacher and peers. I started preschool at three months old. I actually still know a kid who started at my preschool when I did. We have had a relationship longer than we can remember, literally. It’s a great thing that we can both remember the giant jungle gym and both practically killing ourselves for jumping from the top and having the teacher call our parents at work to come meet us at the emergency ward.

My kindergarten teacher, Mrs. A. to our class, is retired, but I still run into her in the neighborhood. She can never believe that I am taller than she is because I will always be this wild little three foot high person to her. She says that she still has a picture I drew of her as a bird on her refrigerator. It might not really be there, but I like thinking that it is.

Then there was Nan O’Shea, my favorite elementary school teacher. She taught third grade, and we had a kid in our class who, if we had been old enough to think about we would unanimously would have predicted would become a terrorist. This kid was so antisocial that his mother had to sit in the back of the class for the whole second half of the year. I remember that we had a parents’ day when we had our work out on our desk, and he drew a toilet on all of our notebooks. He had to write the word “toilet” underneath so you could tell what the drawing was.

Relationships give stability to people’s lives so it’s a good thing to make an effort with them. I think that maybe relationships are a good sign of how a person lives his or her life. To have strong ones it seems to be helpful not to be too self-centered or arrogant or envious. People have to like you for yourself not for someone you are trying to be. That is too confusing. Being yourself and just trying to develop your own strengths no matter what they are and valuing other people for their strengths is a healthy way to go through life. All of these characteristics – not being too self-centered, not being arrogant, not being envious, and sharing are good for nations to have as well as people. Governments are often arrogant with disastrous outcomes. The Shah of Iran was an arrogant guy who had all this oil money and spent none of it on his people, and he had a nasty death squad. So there was a revolution, and now crazy religious fundamentalists in power. The U.S. is afraid of Iran’s capability for nuclear weapons. But the U.S. was the great supporter of the Shah because he was our friend in the Middle East where all the oil is. The U.S. didn’t care about the people of Iran when the Shah was in power. It was only thinking about it’s own selfish needs. It never pays to be really selfish and uninterested in other’s needs. This seems to me to be ethical conduct that wins friends, keeps away enemies, and benefits humanity as oppose to blowing it up.